Slipper Slide

What is one of the top ten gifts you hated to get as a kid? I bet house slippers are near the top of your list too.

However, as we get older and wiser we learn to value the small pleasures in life like shuffling around the house in warm fuzzy slippers, even if we have to go buy them for ourselves.

It doesn't seem that difficult either. There is always a stack of Deerfoams at any department store. Dearfoams are the favorite standby gift for the man who you don't know how to shop for. They are also cheap and breakdown after a few weeks into little more than a mushy memory foam foot container. They are what give slippers a bad rap in the gift giving universe.

I have been on a quest the past few years to find the perfect house shoe. Rather than try to describe what characteristics make up the perfect slippers I let my feet do the talking and let the fit be the judge. To that end I believe I have tried on every brand and style of slipper commercially made and all have been lacking in one thing or another, but the bottom line is if the shoe fits, wear it.

None of the dozen or so styles and brands I tried on felt right on my foot. Some had too much arch support (I hate arch support). Some squished my toes together because for some reason most shoemakers think our feet are pointy so they force our toes to conform to the shoe rather than the other way around. Others had too much faux fur stuffing or not enough insulation for a winter slipper. I have bought and returned several pairs of mail order brands like Lands End or Zappos and had about given up believing I was going to have to get some custom made slippers (maybe with a monogram) but I had avoided one brand and style of slipper because they are silly looking and not of modern proper anatomical design and modern construction; the moccosin.

To be specific, the Minnetonka moccasin that we all know from our Scouting days when we had to make a pair of moccasins from a kit that consisted of a couple pieces of leather sewn together with leather lacing to form this oblong leather sack to put your feet into. I used to wonder why the indians invented such a useless and ugly shoe. I used to have several pairs as a kid and hated them because the laces would always come loose. The heavy leather lacing was not very conducive to knot tying.

Yet, the classic Minnetonka Moccasin has managed to survive in a sea of Dearfoams and Acorns and Uggs and Crocs and on and on. All vying for the coveted position of keeping my stinky feet warm and comfy during the ong Colorado winters. Yesterday I was returning yet another pair of expensive ($120) Ola Kai brand slippers that did not fit. I decided to make one more round of try ons to make sure I had overturned every stone in the mens slipper dept.

Once again I tried on every shoe I had tried on before and few other styles I would not normally consider. Slides? Scuffs? What a useless and dangerous style of footwear. I mean who makes a shoe with no heel to keep it from flying off my foot every time I step forward? Yes, scuffs, slides and clogs are a fitting name. But they are hard to walk in and having to keep my toes pinched to keep my shoes from flying off my foot is not my idea of comfort.

Quite literally (yes I am using it correctly) the last pair of slippers I had been avoiding were the Minnetonka indian slippers with the unruly leather laces I loathed. BUt, they had my size and I was just frustrated enough to try them on. I'll be damned! They were perfect! No arch support to dig into my non-arched foot. Room for my toes. Not too much fake fur. Built really nice. And, about half the cost of the shoes I had just returned. Screw it I thought. No one is going to see me walking around my house feeling all smug and comfortable in ugly shoes. Not as ugly as Crocs, but easily first runner up.

So, here I sit at my computer typing this with my feet warm and snug (but not pinched). I can't wait to go to the kitchen or out to get the paper! I just hope the neighbors won't see me tripping over the untied laces trailing me down the driveway.